there is no reason for “sean” to be pronounced “shawn”
I can’t believe drawing a black line across my eyelids makes me feel 10x prettier.
"black friday" more like the day where merchandise is sold for what it’s actually worth
"Don’t kid yourself" would be a great slogan for birth control pills
I don’t need to go to college I can learn anything I want through youtube tutorials
One time I was on a rollercoaster and a guy’s hat fell off during one of the loops but he caught it when we were right side up again, and i have to go my whole life knowing I’ll never be as cool as that guy.
did you hear about the italian chef who died?
he pasta way
he just ran out of thyme
here today, gone tomato
his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it
we never sausage a tragedy coming
ashes to ashes, crust to crust
there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world
*eats 4 slices of pizza*
im so full
*eats another 4 slices of pizza*